Soooo, after around 14 years in the adult industry, I finally decided I had enough time off and spare cash to spend some money on Myself. I don’t need to state that it was a personal decision, taken by Me, for Me but sadly there are the deluded ones who think they have a say in My life, body or what I do with those. I genuinely hope you are true to that sentiment and you yourself will do what others think you should do with your body because next time I see you I’m strongly suggesting a penectomy.
I’ll split this blog/account into a few sections.
The decision making process
Number 1 Factor: I have one kidney and the thought of being outers in a clinic scares the piss out of Me. I train, I eat well, I’m a non smoker, non drinker and I had bloods done at home to make sure I was 100% before surgery. Basically, I’m an over prepare, under require sort of Woman. That in mind, although I hoped I wouldn’t need it, I was infinitely happier in the knowledge that being operated on in a hospital meant there were people qualified in EVERYTHING around if something went wrong. Secondly, or joint first I guess, was researching quality of work. There have been horror stories about travelling for surgery (mainly peddled by tabloids and I know, personally, how dishonest they can be or clinics here in the UK – I know you steal photos from american models mate – who want to charge 3 times as much for the same procedure with the same risk) but I dance to the beat of My Own drum so chose Avrupamed. I wanted a bump taken out of My nose I got when I was 17 and an ex head butted Me for dumping him (I’m a catch) and I wanted that entire memory away. I also wanted the tits back I had trained off with Thai Boxing and weight training. I can train an arse, abs, back, shoulders etc but I’m never training a pair of tits. Amiright, fitfam?
I had a look at the surgeon’s work (Dr Ugur Sahin – @drugursahin on Instagram) and was really happy with everything I saw. Instagram is an amazing tool now but I do believe it’s a very subjective topic – what I see as great tits and noses you may hate but the work I saw, to Me, was good. I’m good at judging characters when it comes to men in general and he had the look of a guy who appreciates a good set of boobs (kind of what you want, no?) and was happy to chat in the lead up to My arrival so I had no doubts and I booked My date and flights for Myself and a friend to help Me.
We arrived around 1am at Ataturk airport. It was super busy but there was a guy waiting with a card to meet Us and take Us to the hotel. On the way the contact at Avrupamed had upgraded Us to a better hotel so I was already pretty happy to get there. The car was a big Mercedes Vito with the kind of extra interior you’d see in Pimp My Ride.
Hotel was lovely and grilled chicken with what seemed like an infinite amount of sides came to £3.50 via room service. Fucking sorted.) We had a couple days exploring and went to Sultanahmat (definitely go there if you can. Don’t accept offers to see anyone’s ‘handmade carpet’) before it was time to go to the hospital. A 35 minute Uber ride in a similar car cost £8 by the way. It’s reasonable to get around here if you want to.
We were picked up around 7am in the pimp car and taken to the hospital where I was greeted by the Avrupamed angel that is Aytul. This Woman never stops, nothing is any trouble and speaks at least 4 languages from what I saw. We went to the hospital room and it was huge and well decorated.
Nurses came and took blood, anaesthetist came to have a chat and then it was up to meet Dr Ugur. We had a chat about surgery and Aytul was there to translate anything I didn’t understand. I had originally planned on having My ears pinned as the procedure didn’t work when I was 9 so I needed revision. Being aware that I have a television series to record later in the month Dr decided to postpone this as My face is on camera and I’d be in bandages for 4 weeks so that will be for another blog when I go back. He sharpie markered where everything would go (usually it’s Me with a sharpie writing obscenities so the change of pace was refreshing) and as we’d chatted before, he already knew what I wanted and said he would try a few different implants till he achieved this so I was happy to leave it in his hands and returned to My room to get the goony on.
I got to the theatre and was met with familiar faces, jumped up on the coldest table I have ever lay on (sorry to all subs who have to jump on Mine when it’s cold. Just kidding, suck it up) and after a venflo was put in I was out.
Know when you wake up after a party, having drank too many shots and you’re like ‘where am I?’ Imagine that but your face hurts, you’re cold, someone is shouting your name and there’s an elephant sitting on your chest. Aye. I panicked. Totally forgot I had gone to sleep for surgery. Once I remembered I was cool. I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge and two ops in one seemed a dawdle at the time of planning (I was actually going for 3 to be honest but for the first few days I was happy I stuck with two.) The last time I was operated on was ears and before that was having a kidney removed and I sailed through those but I was 9 and 7 then and I’m 35 now so I swole and bruised like a 35 year old does.
I felt like a bus had hit Me and started planning time machines and scolding My Own vanity but after some lovely painkillers I came around to the idea I would be alright if I just stuck with it for a bit. Noone really tells you to make sure your head is in the right place for this so ‘make sure your head is in the right place for this’. After a few hours and a spew (get the anti spew medicine if you can) I was able to walk around unaided and the next day I was discharged to the hotel to rest.
Chipmunk Granny/Ray Donovan
Remember at the start I said I like to be over prepared? Well, My kidney took a minute to kick in and as I drank 4l of water, My body retained 4l of water. I contacted Aytul who had a car outside in minutes to take Me back in for urology tests ( aftercare is included in the cost of the surgery) to make sure there weren’t any serious problems. Dr Ugur was there too and I found it pretty funny. Last time I saw those two together I was in skinny jeans, white shirt and well groomed. This time, shuffling in like old Betty who got mugged/had a bad fall last week. I still laugh at how swollen I was.
Anyway, this didn’t last long but having that peace of mind is invaluable.
Cast Off Drains Out Home Time
This was by far the worst part of recovery. Drains didn’t drain so well, probably a combo of My age and swelling so they stayed in a little extra and them coming out was absolutely mingin. I could feel them moving but thankfully it was over really fast and the drains meant no bruising and little to no pain in My boobs at all. I flew back the next morning and I’m now on day 14. Face is healing up really well, boobs are great, I’ve bounced back really fast and I would definitely do it again.
Summary: Boobs and Nose – £3500. Avrupamed.com or @avrupamed on Instagram. Dr Ugur Sahin or @Drugursahin on Instagram.
I have not been offered nor received any payment for this review.