The Business of Being a Domme

As much as We love to profess We do this for the love of BDSM itself (and that is definitely true of any Mistress who is successful as this emanates from their very being – they stay the distance when times are hard and they have a presence both on social media and in person) We all need to pay bills, too. We need sometimes to take the session that We can’t really be arsed doing make up for or do the strap on session We usually love but We are on Our period and cranky and cramping with every thrust and the guy hasn’t cleaned his ass out and and and… You get the picture. Thankfully for most, this is a rarity as We are in the fortunate position, after years of hard work and building a professional reputation, that We can live a comfortable life without worrying about money. It’s not a pretty subject and I, for One, shy away from talking about money in public as I find it a little garish. I love getting gifts and showing gratitude but that is as far as it goes for Me.

Although I consider Myself to have had a relatively short career in professional Domination – a measly 7 odd years under My belt – I had a long served career in sales and business for which the mindset and skills have never left Me. When I first started as a Domina I knew I had a lot to prove. I was surrounded by a wealth of experience and here was Me, wet behind the ears thinking ‘shiiiiitttt… what if I get NO sessions?? What do I do?? Panic!!’ and I fell into the trap of lowering prices, just in case, thinking subs were daft enough to fall for that old trickery and ultimately telling the world ‘I am not worth the same as this other Lady’… But I was. I was worth the same. My creative mind, My passion for BDSM, My sick imagination and My attention to detail in session and with Myself (coming from a dancing background – I was used to being perfectly groomed at all times) One day, after putting in a beautiful few hours with a lovely client who left in a daze, happy and satisfied he had just given up every part of his being to Me and pledging his unconditional service to Me, I realised. This, this is what it is about. Give clients what they need, exceed their expectations and I will have a client for life. They will talk to people under the guise of a twitter name and I need to start talking to people and making My voice heard among the social media chatter. And that is when things started to change. I changed My mindset and I began to attract more clients, I worked more than ever before and I had My prices the same as anyone else on the scene.

So why are Dommes, especially ones who have been on the scene a while, dropping prices to ridiculous levels or, more importantly, what does that say about them?

Let’s look at it from a retail point of view. A business wants to sell to its customers. The customers aren’t buying. What could the reasons be for this? Well let’s look at the reasons people buy…

1. To make money

2. To save money

3. To save time

4. To enhance reputation

5. To feed an emotional need

There may be more but these make sense to Me. In order to charge more money we must satisfy one or more criteria that makes the ‘perceived value’ of that item worth the spend. Who hasn’t splurged on something that We know has been out of Our budget but We just NEEDED to have it? That’s the key to this whole thing. Mercedes Benz doesn’t drop to Ford prices. Merc releases adverts which tap into the psyche and emotion need of it’s potential consumers in order to persuade that customer that they do need ESP and heated windows and alloy wheels. Why? Not because it makes the salesman and the company money – because it will save time scrubbing ice when you woke up late for work; save money on insurance claims because its wheels brake individually in an emergency; they’ll look so awesome driving the neighbours and those clients they visit now and then will be so impressed and as a result they will feel good about themselves. I know this because I used to sell cars, Mercedes in fact, I know that noone really buys them straight off the rack, they usually have to be romanced into this hefty purchase. That and serving them hot coffee in china cups with those cute little biscuits I love. And giving them a long detailed handover, the option to pick their car up from Germany and a free gift when they buy as an extra thank you that noone gets at Ford.

However, start selling Mercs at £7k brand new and sure, more people may buy them but it will become just another 7k car on the road. Nothing special at all. Will Porsche or Audi care if they drop out of the market? Nope, they will still have their prestige. Will they care about them selling the same technology for 20k less? Nope – they will develop newer, better technology with all the money they have from keeping their customers romanced and happy and leave Merc trailing.

So, like I always say, up your game don’t drop your prices. If you don’t believe you are worth it, noone else will. If you can’t raise your game then perhaps you need to look for another job.